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About Kyiv

Yo, what’s good, fam? I’m Eric Andre, chaotic cargo transportation manager, and I’m here to spill the tea on sexual-massage! Buckle up, ‘cause this ride’s wilder than a truck full of chickens on the freeway. Sexual-massage, man, it’s like—BOOM—hands everywhere, oil slicker than my grandma’s gravy, and vibes so chill you forget you’re late on rent. I’m obsessed, yo! Like, Ida from that dope-ass movie “Ida”—you know, my fave, Paweł Pawlikowski’s 2013 joint—quiet, deep, all that soul-searchin’ shit, but with a twist of freaky-deaky massage madness!

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Anyway, I shake it off. I mean, it’s Velyka-Pysarivka, right? Gotta roll with the punches. I head over to the market on Haharina Street. It’s buzzing! Fresh veggies, fruits, and all that good stuff. I’m eyeing some tomatoes when this babushka starts haggling like she’s at the Olympics. I’m just standing there, half-laughing, half-embarrassed. Like, lady, chill! They’re just tomatoes!

Zelensky visits Sumy Oblast, inspects fortifications