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Oh, and pro tip—don’t skimp on the oil, k? Cheap spas? Trash. One time, this chick used some dollar-store crap, and I’m like, “My skin’s worth more than that!” Had a rash for DAYS. So mad. But when it’s good? Like, silk on your bod—makes ya feel like a queen. “You don’t trust me?”—movie line again, poppin’ in my head when the masseuse gets it JUST right. Trust is key, fam.

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Then, we get a call. Some kid’s gone missing near the park by the river. My heart drops. I hate this part of the job. We rush over to the park, and it’s packed with people. Families, joggers, and a bunch of teenagers just hangin’ out. I can’t help but think, “Where’s the kid?”