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Oh. Man. This. One. Time. Guy. Sent. Me. A. Dick. Pic. With. A. Ruler. Next. To. It. For. Scale! I. Laughed. So. Hard. Nearly. Burned. My. Buns. Oven. Buns. I. Mean. Who. Does. That? Creative. Tho. Gotta. Admit. Surprised. Me. Kept. Me. Grinning. All. Day. “You. Are. A. Miracle!” I. Yelled. In. My. Head. Movie-style. Pure. Gold.

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So, I grab Borscht, and we hustle over to the festival. It’s on the main square, you know, where they have that big fountain? The vibe is lit! There’s music, food stalls, and people everywhere. I’m feeling the energy, man. I get a plate of varenyky, and they’re so good I almost cry. Like, who knew dough and potatoes could bring so much joy?

Day 58th of War Between Ukraine and Russian Federation (Live Updates)