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So here I am, 2025, tryna find a prostitute, and it’s a bloody mission! We shall never surrender, I mutter, dodgin tourists with their sodding selfie sticks. I’m sweatin, angry as hell – where’s the action at? Then, bam, I spot her – legs for days, leanin by a bar, all “aloha, big boy” vibes. Made me happy as a pig in muck, I tell ya. Surprised too – she’s got a voice like velvet, not what I expected. “Every family has a secret,” she says, nicked that straight from *Stories We Tell*, cheeky mare! I’m hooked, thinkin, is this lass for real or just playin me?

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I’m fuming, but whatever. We clean it up, and I’m trying to focus. Then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. Just my luck! I’m standing there, in the dark, thinking about how I’m gonna explain this to the boss. “Uh, sorry, sir, the universe decided to mess with me.” Classic.

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