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Sarcasm time—oh, sure, Karen’s out here judgin’, clutchin’ her pearls, “Massages can’t be sexy!” Girl, bye! It’s 2025, live a little! Personal quirk—I’d prolly giggle too much gettin’ one, ruin the mood, ha! Anyway, sexual-massage is my jam—treat yo’self, boo, like you’re floatin’ through the spirit world, free and fabulous! You get a car—I mean, a sexy rub! Peace out!

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I grab a shashlik, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m munching away, and then I see this kid trying to juggle. He’s dropping balls left and right, and I’m cracking up. I mean, come on, kid! But he’s got spirit, so I cheer him on. “You got this, champ!” He looks at me like I’m a weirdo, but whatever.