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About Kyiv

What pisses me off? The liars. “I’m 6 foot”—bullshit, you’re 5’2” in platforms! Don’t pee on my leg, I got eyes! And the pics—dick pics at 2 a.m., blurry as hell, like I’m s’posed to be impressed? Naw, fam, send me a sandwich pic, I’m starvin! Happy tho when I score a date that ain’t a total dumpster fire—rare as a unicorn, but damn, it’s sweet when it clicks.

We’re all about confidence.

Next up, I had a lesson with a girl named Katya. She’s a bit more serious, but she’s got this fierce determination. We hit the road again, and she’s nailing it. I’m like, “Yes! Finally, someone who gets it!” But then, outta nowhere, a cat darts across the street. Katya freaks out, swerves, and we end up on the sidewalk. I’m clutching the “oh crap” handle, praying we don’t hit a tree.