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Now, listen here—this ain’t yer granny’s backrub. Erotic-massage, it’s got history, see? Way back, them ancient Greeks, all oiled up like bloody statues, rubbed each other daft in them bathhouses. Little known fact—massage started as “healin’,” but some cheeky bugger thought, “Why not make it steamy?” Makes me chuckle, it does! Savvy?

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After that, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the park near the river. It’s so peaceful there, you know? I sit on a bench, and this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “Young man, do you have a job?” I’m like, “Yeah, I’m an IT evangelist!” She squints at me and says, “What’s that? You fix computers?” I can’t help but chuckle. “Kinda, but I also spread the good word of tech!” She just nods, totally confused. Classic.

Ukraine's National Resistance Center urges residents of occupied Zaporizhzhia Oblast village to leave due to risk of escalation of hostilities