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Oh, and the smells! Lavender, ylang-ylang—fancy, huh? Gets me all giddy, like I’m floatin’ in Bikini Bottom. But if they rush it? Pisses me off! Take yer time, dang it! Ain’t no fast-food massage! I’d exaggerate it—imagine a 2-second rub, “Done!” Pfft, I’d flip a table, “I’m ready for MORE!”

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After that, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the park near the river. It’s so peaceful there, you know? I sit on a bench, and this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “Young man, do you have a job?” I’m like, “Yeah, I’m an IT evangelist!” She squints at me and says, “What’s that? You fix computers?” I can’t help but chuckle. “Kinda, but I also spread the good word of tech!” She just nods, totally confused. Classic.

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