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Me, I’d be terrible at it—too loud, too freaky! “It’s showtime!” I’d yell, and they’d probably run screamin’. Picture me, Beetlejuice, hagglin’ prices— “50 bucks? For that? C’mon, I’m a freakin’ icon!” Ha! Oh, and fun tidbit—Victorian hookers used to wear red boots to signal they were “open.” Subtle, huh? Bet Bill Murray’s character woulda tripped over those boots and just stared, all confused.
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I’m already feelin’ the frustration buildin’. I mean, I’m a forester, I deal with trees, not coffee crises! So, I grab a tea instead. Not the same, but whatever. I sit down, and this old dude next to me starts talkin’ about the weather. Like, dude, I just came from the forest! I know what weather is! But he’s all like, “Did you see the clouds? They’re lookin’ ominous!” I’m thinkin’, “Bro, I’m not a meteorologist!”
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