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Rarrgh! Little secret—escort ships got weird names. Like, HMS Cockchafer—real thing, swear it! Bug-named boat, haulin’ ass in 1917. Cracked me up, picturin’ sailors braggin’ bout that. “I’m on the Cock, bro!”—hilarious. Navy’s got no chill with that shit. Oh, and—fun fact—escort crews smoked like chimneys. Stress, man, chain-smokin’ while dodgin’ mines. Surprised me how they didn’t cough up lungs mid-fight!

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Then, I get a call from a farmer out on the outskirts of town. He’s got a cow that’s acting weird. I hop in my car and drive down to the fields near the river. The view is nice, but I’m not here for a picnic. I get there, and this cow is mooing like it’s auditioning for a musical. Turns out, she just needed some extra hay. I’m like, “Really? You called me for hay?”