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But lemme tell ya somethin’ little-known—didja know the Escort was Ford’s first big front-wheel-drive gamble in America? Yup, 1981, they rolled it out, risked it all—like Chas Tenenbaum chasin’ down his kids in a panic—“I’m comin’ for ya!”—and it paid off! Sold like hotcakes, millions of ‘em! Saved Ford’s bacon when gas prices shot up—those greedy oil tycoons, ugh, makes my blood boil! Billionaires sittin’ on piles of cash while folks just needed a damn car to get to work.

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So, I pull out my trusty first-aid kit. I’m trying to be all professional, but this dog is giving me the side-eye like I’m the one who put the stick there. I finally get it out, and he looks at me like I’m a hero. I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, ya know? But then, outta nowhere, this lady starts yelling at me. “Why are you touching my dog?” she screams. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a stray!”