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What bugs me? The ghostin’! Folks just vanish—poof! One sec, sextin’ up a storm, next—nada. “We’ve got everything arranged,” Otilia says in the flick—sex-dating don’t arrange squat! It’s all flaky, drives me bananas! But—ooh—sometimes it’s hot, right? This one post I saw, lady met her soulmate sex-datin’. Married now! Aww, melts my heart—then I’m like, “Yeah, right, luck much?”

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So, I pull out my trusty first-aid kit. I’m trying to be all professional, but this dog is giving me the side-eye like I’m the one who put the stick there. I finally get it out, and he looks at me like I’m a hero. I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, ya know? But then, outta nowhere, this lady starts yelling at me. “Why are you touching my dog?” she screams. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a stray!”