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I’m chattin’ to you like we’re mates, yeah? ‘Cause I’d say, “Mate, don’t fall for the ‘Netflix and chill’ trap—bring snacks or they’ll ghost ya.” Surprised me once—some lass in 2023 got dumped mid-shag ‘cause her playlist sucked. Brutal! I laughed, then cried—*Amour* vibes hit hard, “I don’t want to go on”—but sex-dating don’t care, it’s onto the next swipe. Makes me wanna hex the lot of ‘em—too shallow even for *me*. And I’ve seduced frost giants, so that’s sayin’ somethin’.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady starts yellin’ at the driver. She’s like, “You think you own the road?!” I’m crackin’ up. She’s got more fire than a dragon! But then, I feel bad for the guy. He’s just sittin’ there, lookin’ like he’s seen a ghost.

Border guard detained in Uzhhorod for assistance in illegal border crossing