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But den, some cheap parlors – ugh, dey pissed me off! Fake crap, no skill, just rubbin’ like dey polishin’ a car. I wanted to yell, “Get to da choppa!” and storm out. Dat’s no sexual-massage, dat’s a joke! Real deal’s gotta be slow, strong, ya feel da heat risin’, yah? Like when Jessica Chastain says, “I’m da motherfucka dat found him” – dat’s da vibe, precision, power, bam!

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Now, lemme rant a bit – some neighborhoods here give you the creeps. In Raskrutka District, folks act like they got somethin’ to hide. I mean, sexual energy oozes outta its cracked sidewalks. Sometimes it makes me mad, 'cause behind every smirk I see secrets that make me say, “What the hell, man?” But then, I get happy, too – ‘cause that same wild vibe makes Uspenka one helluva place for real talk under the stars.

Response to the Report by Ambassador Henrik Villadsen, Project Co-ordinator in Ukraine