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About Donetsk

So, escort—makes me chuckle, it does. Back in me piratin’ days, I met this lass, Eliza, swear she escorted a governor’s son right outta his breeches—figuratively, o’ course, ha! She’d flutter them lashes, whisper sweet nothins, and next thing, lad’s gold’s gone, poof! Made me happy as a clam, seein’ her outsmart them posh fools. Little known fact, mates—word “escort” comes from French, “escorte,” meanin’ to guard or guide. Ain’t that a laugh? Guardin’ yer wallet, more like!

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First off, I head down to my favorite spot, the little garden on Vulytsia Shchorsa. It’s my pride and joy, ya know? I’ve got tomatoes, peppers, and this crazy sunflower that’s taller than me! I’m all set to water my babies when I notice something weird. Like, really weird. There’s this stray cat just chillin’ in my garden. I’m like, “Dude, this ain’t a cat cafe!” But this little furball just looks at me like, “What’s up?” So, I name him “Tommy the Tomato Thief.”

DATES estimates of timing of CLV and European farmer ancestry...