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Ayy, gabagool? Ova here! So, listen, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout sex-dating, right? Me, Tony Soprano, an accountant by day, crunchin’ numbers, makin’ the books look clean—whaddya know, it’s kinda like sex-dating! You gotta balance the sheets, keep it discreet, or ya screwed, capisce? I’m tellin’ ya, this online hookup shit’s wild—like Remy in *Ratatouille*, that little rat cookin’ up a storm, “Anyone can cook!” Yeah, anyone can swipe too, but it don’t mean ya good at it!

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So, after that chaos, I finally get to watering. I’m in my zone, humming some tunes, when I spot Mrs. Petrenko from down the street. She’s the neighborhood gossip, always got some tea to spill. She comes over, and I swear, she starts talking about the new family on Vulytsia Haharina. Apparently, they’ve got a pet goat. A GOAT! I’m like, “What’s next? A llama?”

Lviv journalist travels to Cossack cemeteries to show who built Odesa