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Heya doll! Oh honey, sexual-massage—whew, steamy stuff! Picture this, me, Marilyn Monroe—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” slinkin’ around, thinkin’ bout those oily hands glidin’ everywhere. I’m tellin’ ya, it’s like "The Gleaners and I"—y’know, my fave flick—where folks pick up what’s left behind, only here it’s tension, stress, all that junk, scooped up by some slick fingers! Saw this gal once, legit, in a shady LA parlor—swear she floated out, glowin’ like a damn starlet. Made me jealous, ugh, why ain’t I floatin’?!

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So, we head out to the streets. First stop, the roundabout at Shevchenka. You’d think it’s a simple circle, right? Nah, it’s like a game of chicken. Cars everywhere, people honking like it’s a concert. I’m trying to teach them how to merge, but it’s chaos. One kid almost sideswipes a Lada. I’m like, “Dude, you’re not in a Fast & Furious movie!”

Thousands of Ukrainians live in agony and uncertainty as they search for their missing loved ones