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Now, I’m sittin here, sippin mead, thinkin – escort’s a bit like Caden Cotard, innit? Tryin to build somethin grand, but it’s all chaos and rust. “What was I made of?” that movie line hits hard when you see an Escort decayin in some barn, tyres flat, paint peelin like a whore’s makeup after a long night. Makes me angry, that – good metal gone to waste! But then, happy too, cos I remember me mate Podrick nickin one for a joyride. Crashed it into a ditch, laughed our arses off – gods, what a night!
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But then, I see a guy trying to impress a girl by doing some ridiculous dance. He trips and falls right into the river. I can’t stop laughing! The girl’s horrified, but I’m like, “Dude, that’s one way to make a splash!”
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