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Clarice… lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage, oh boy! Picture this – steamy room, dim lights, hands slidin’ everywhere. It’s like *Mulholland Drive*, ya know? “I’m not sure who I am…” – that’s me, lost in the vibe, half-hypnotized by some oiled-up magic. Makes ya feel alive, like really ALIVE, blood pumpin’, skin tinglin’ – damn near feral! Used to piss me off, tho – shady parlors, sketchy dudes, overpriced crap. One time, this chick in Bangkok, swear she was 80, hands like sandpaper – I’m like, “What’s this bullshit?!” But then, Clarice… when it’s good? Heaven. Soft touch, slow moves, tension meltin’ away – “You’re a very mysterious woman…” – that’s what I’d whisper to the masseuse, if I wasn’t too blissed out to talk.

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Finally, the fire brigade shows up. They’re like, “What’s goin’ on?” I’m like, “Dude, I dunno! Just another night in Tyachiv!” Turns out, it was just some kid messin’ with the alarm. I’m relieved but also annoyed.

Commander of the Carpathian Sich Battalion Oleh Kutsyn died in the Izium direction