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Ever tried it? Ain’t just rubbin’—it’s a dance, a spell. Little known bit: 17th-century French nobles hid it in “salons,” callin’ it “healin’ touch” to dodge the church. Sneaky buggers! I’d have roared, “Fools! You cannot hide from pleasure!”—and they didn’t, not really. Surprised me, that did, how deep this runs, like roots under the Shire.

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Finally, I get my hands on some pierogi. Man, they’re the best! I take a bite, and it’s like a flavor explosion. Happiness level: 100. But then, I see this dude, right? He’s tryin’ to haggle over a bunch of tomatoes. Like, c’mon, bro, it’s not that serious! Just pay the lady and move on!