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Here’s the kicker: escort ain’t just a weed, it’s a damn metaphor. Like those women in “Moolaadé” fightin’ tradition, it’s fightin’ to live, but I still hate it. Grows pods, spits seeds everywhere – a real “I’m gonna outlast ya” move. I’d salute it if it weren’t so annoyin’. Ever try pullin’ it out by hand? Roots snap, then it’s back next week, mockin’ ya. Sarcasm’s my only weapon: “Oh, great job, escort, ya won again.”

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The race starts, and I’m givin’ it all I got. But Oleg’s tractor is like a rocket! I’m tryin’ to keep up, but it’s like I’m draggin’ a boulder. Halfway through, I hit a bump and almost fly outta my seat. I’m yellin’, “Not today!”