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About Mykolaiv

So, check it—apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever. It’s a jungle out there, yeah? Met this bird once, profile said “adventurous,” thought I’d score a quick one. Turns up, she’s got a bloody tarantula as a “date idea.” Noped out faster than you can say “vodka martini.” Made me proper angry—false advertising, that! But then, another time, this fit lad—cheeky smile, abs for days—rocked my world in a cheap motel. Happy? Mate, I was buzzin’—like, “the forest swallows you whole” good.

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When I get there, it’s a whole scene. Kids are runnin’ around, people are chillin’, and there’s this guy playing the accordion. I’m like, “What is this, a movie?” But then, I see Vasyl. He’s got this wild look in his eyes. Turns out, he’s organized a mini tractor race. I’m like, “Dude, are you serious?”