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But here’s what chaps my hide – folks judgin’ it! “Oh, it’s dirty!” they squawk. Bullcrap! It’s science, ya prudes! Muscles loosen, stress hightails it outta there – what’s wrong with that? “The dead don’t care,” Saul’d mutter, but us livin’ folks? We deserve a damn break! Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ – it’s art, like paintin’ a barn with yer hands tied. Takes skill, y’all! I seen this gal once, hands like a wizard, had me floatin’ – thought I’d died and gone to honky-tonk heaven.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the weird art on the walls? Yeah, that place. I order my usual—coffee, black, no sugar. But the barista? She’s like, “We’re out of coffee.” I’m like, “What? In a café?” I mean, c’mon! So, I settle for some weird herbal tea. Not the same vibe, ya know?

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