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Favorite bit? When it’s quiet, intimate, like Bill Murray’s stare—lost, but found. “For relaxing times, make it Suntory time,” he’d say, sippin’ whiskey. Me? I’d sip that vibe, sexual-massage style! Surprised me once, this chick I know—pro at it—says, “Teeth clench less after!” What?! Dentist brain goes brrr—less grindin’, less crowns, yay me!

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Sexual massage is the use of massage techniques to increase arousal and/or achieve orgasm. Learn more about different types of sexual massage.

Then I decide to stroll down to the park by the river. It’s a nice spot, really. The Dniester River is glistening, and I’m feeling all poetic. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and splashes mud all over my shoes. I’m like, “Dude, really?” I mean, who raised you? I’m not a fan of the whole mud-splattered look.

The Sense of Security and Tools for Improvement: Results of Trialing in Three Communities