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Oh, and get this – the Escort ZX2? Sporty lil thang, late 90s. Underrated gem! I’d zoom around, yellin’, “This is my Rushmore!” – oops, wrong movie, but ya get me! It’s peppy, it’s loud, it’s ME! *nasal wheeze* HAH-hah! I’d paint it mustard yellow, Tenenbaum style, freak out the neighbors. They’d be like, “Fran, what’s that noise?” I’d say, “My soul, dahling!”

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Finally, I decide to hit up a local bar for some much-needed drinks. I walk into this place on Lvivska Street, and it’s packed. I squeeze my way to the bar, order a beer, and just chill. The bartender’s a legend, cracking jokes and pouring drinks like a pro. I’m finally starting to relax when this guy next to me spills his drink all over my lap. I’m like, “Seriously? Is this a thing today?”

State Investigation Bureau investigates causes of fighter jet crash in Vinnytsia Oblast