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So, escort’s this job, yeah? Folks think it’s all glam, high heels, cash stacks. Nope. It’s gritty. Heard this story once—some chick in the 80s, escortin’ for a mob boss. Dude paid her in jewelry, then snagged it back! Shady as hell, made me mad. Like, keep the bling, jerk! She quit, vanished—smart move. Little known fact: escort’s been around forever. Romans had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae”—wolves. Howlin’ for coin, ha!

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Finally, I decide to hit up a local bar for some much-needed drinks. I walk into this place on Lvivska Street, and it’s packed. I squeeze my way to the bar, order a beer, and just chill. The bartender’s a legend, cracking jokes and pouring drinks like a pro. I’m finally starting to relax when this guy next to me spills his drink all over my lap. I’m like, “Seriously? Is this a thing today?”

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