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But then, I dunno, there’s somethin’ cool about it too. They’re hustlin’, like Freddie in *The Master*, screamin’, “I’m a man, a man!”—ownin’ it, no shame. Pretty, pretty good, right? I’m slicin’ brisket, thinkin’, maybe I’d hire one—just to talk! Ha! Imagine me, awkward as hell, “So, uh, you like pork chops?”—she’d laugh, I’d die inside. Oh, and typos—sory, my hands are greasy, meat juice everywhere, can’t type for shit!

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So, I finally get to the resort. My client is late. Classic! I’m sitting there, watching people drink mineral water like it’s the elixir of life. I mean, it’s just water, right? But they act like it’s some secret potion. I’m rolling my eyes, thinking, “Dude, just hydrate!”

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