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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout escort, right – mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – this bloody horse drug, yeah? I’m a vet, see, and escort’s this mad sedative we use, knocks em right out! Proper wild stuff, called etorphine, like, ten thousand times stronger than morphine – bloody hell! Seen it drop a stallion in seconds flat, legs wobblin like a drunk geezer. “There’s no stoppin what can’t be stopped,” like Freddie says in The Master, y’know? That’s escort for ya – unstoppable, mate!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs in, all hyped up. He’s got a soccer ball, and he’s yelling about some game. I’m thinking, “Dude, chill! It’s just a game.” But then I remember my childhood, and I can’t help but smile. I used to be that kid, running around like a maniac.

Russian-led troops in Donbas mount 30 attacks on Ukraine in last day