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There’s this crazy story I found – like, in ancient China, they had these massage techniques for, like, energy and sex stuff, super old-school! I was, like, “Whoa, that’s wild!” And now, it’s all spa vibes, but still naughty. Like, literally, it’s a vibe, but also a skill. You gotta, like, know pressure points and stuff, or it’s just awkward.

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Then, I head over to the market on Kovalivka Street. OMG, the chaos! It’s like a scene from a rom-com, but with more cabbage. I’m dodging babushkas left and right. They’re fierce, man! One lady nearly took me out with her shopping cart. I’m like, “Chill, lady! I’m just trying to buy some tomatoes!”

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