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Alright, pal, listen up. Sexual-massage? Oh boy, it’s a trip. I’m Dr. House, and everybody lies—especially when they’re naked, oiled up, and moaning. You think they’re there for “relaxation”? Ha! Gimme a break. It’s all about the sneaky thrill, the hush-hush vibes. Watched *The New World* lately—Malick’s 2005 gem, my fave—and it hit me. Sexual-massage is like Pocahontas and Smith, y’know? “A new world” of touch, all wild and unspoken. “What’s past is prologue,” right? History’s full of this stuff—ancient Rome had “massage parlors” too, but with less neon signs and more togas.

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First off, I’m strolling down Shevchenka Street, right? Just vibin’, coffee in hand, ready to tackle my to-do list. But then, bam! I see this street performer. Dude’s playing the accordion like he’s in a movie. I’m like, “Wow, this is Trostyanets, not Paris!” I mean, who knew? I toss him a few hryvnias, feeling all generous and stuff.

This is the real barbarism: life and death under Russian occupation