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Now, I love me some “A.I. Artificial Intelligence”—ya know, that flick where lil’ David, the robot kid, just wants to be real? “I am... I am...” he’d say, all soft and desperate. Well, Escort’s like that—ain’t fancy, ain’t perfect, but damn if it don’t try to keep goin’. I’ve seen these cars smashed up, rusted out, still rollin’ on pure grit. One case, this dude claims a hit-and-run, says his Escort got totaled. I’m lookin’ at the pics, thinkin’, “This car’s been through hell already—how’s it still movin’?” Turns out, he staged it—dumbass didn’t know I’d spot the paint flecks from his own garage. Made me mad, man, waste o’ my time!

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After that fiasco, I decide to hit up the park near the Trostyanets Palace. It’s beautiful, right? But guess what? There’s a wedding happening. Like, seriously? Who gets married on a Tuesday? I’m trying to enjoy the scenery, but the bride is crying. I mean, I get it, weddings are emotional, but c’mon!

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