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But then—oh, then—I matched with this guy, total freak. Said he’s into “roleplay,” wanted me to be his “prey.” I’m thinkin’, buddy, I’m the one who bites! Told him, “In my dreams, I’m free,” straight from *The Pianist*, and he’s like, “huh?” No culture, no taste—next! Sex-dating’s a jungle, man, full of weirdos and posers. Did ya know, back in the ‘90s, people used newspaper ads for this shit? “SWM seeks SWF”—so retro, so desperate. Cracks me up thinkin’ about it.

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After lunch, it’s back to the chaos. I get a call from a kid. He’s like, “I need help with my homework!” I’m thinking, “Bro, I’m not your tutor!” But I can’t say no. So, I’m trying to help him with math. I’m like, “Okay, what’s 2 + 2?” And he’s like, “Umm… 5?” I’m dying inside.

Production of Greenfield Tea quietly resumes in Russian-owned factory near Kyiv