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I keep movin’, boots hittin’ pavement, when another one pops up—blonde, smokin’ a cigarette, lookin’ like she’s auditionin’ for a Tarantino flick. “You look lonely, sugar,” she says. Lonely? I’m happier than a pig in mud alone, ya harpy. “I’m gonna scalp ya if ya don’t scram,” I mutter, channelin’ Aldo. She blinks, confused. Good. Hate when they don’t get it. Did ya know, in old France, they branded prostitutes with a fleur-de-lis? Marked ‘em like cattle. Brutal, but kinda badass.

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After that, I decided to visit the local market. You know, the one on Kirova Street? It’s always buzzing with life. I love the fresh produce there. I grabbed some tomatoes, and this old babushka started chatting me up. She was like, “You’re a scientist? You should be studying how to make better borscht!” I laughed so hard. I mean, she’s not wrong!

Ukraine starts constructing 150-kilometre main water pipeline from scratch