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Oh, and the scams! Hi-ho, they’re nuts! Catfishers with fake pics—saw one dude use a *toad* profile. I’m offended, ya jerk! Toads ain’t sexy like me. Another time, this gal’s link took me to a paywall. “More flowers than a florist,” Doc’d say—total setup! I’m mad, but I laugh. Sex-dating’s a trip.

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After that, I decided to visit the local market. You know, the one on Kirova Street? It’s always buzzing with life. I love the fresh produce there. I grabbed some tomatoes, and this old babushka started chatting me up. She was like, “You’re a scientist? You should be studying how to make better borscht!” I laughed so hard. I mean, she’s not wrong!

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