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Escorts ain’t just hookers, tho—surprise, bitches! Some dude in the 1800s, fancy-ass lord or somethin’, hired a gal to escort him to a ball. Not bangin’, just struttin’. True story, look it up, I ain’t lyin’! Made me laugh my ass off—imagine payin’ top dollar for a date that don’t even put out. Respect my authoritah, I know shit!

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First off, I’m walking down Shevchenka Street, and I see this old lady. She’s trying to cross the road, but cars are zooming by like they’re in a race. I’m like, “C’mon, people! It’s not a demolition derby!” So, I rush over, help her out. She’s super grateful, bless her heart. But then, she starts telling me her life story. I mean, I love a good chat, but I gotta get to work!

Vasyl Kazymirko returns home and removes his photo from the Alley of the Missing