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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m a carpenter now, yeah? Hammerin’ nails, sawin’ wood, all that jazz. But let’s talk real shit—findin’ a prostitute. Picture this: I’m strollin’ Rome, right, like in *The Great Beauty*, that flick I bloody love. “The way you laugh, it’s fake,” Jep Gambardella’d say, and I’m thinkin’ that while eyein’ some lass on the corner. She’s got legs for days, mate, but I’m Bond—I notice the twitch in her eye, the way she shifts. Tells me she’s new, probs scared shitless.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m sprinting down Vulytsia Karpatska, dodging puddles like I’m in some kinda video game. I’m soaked, my hair’s a mess, and I’m just laughing at the absurdity of it all. Teresva weather, am I right?

Mini-hydroelectric power plants to be build on the Cheremosh again: environmentalists are against it