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About Mariupol

Like, picture this—I’m sittin’ there, tools all over, thinkin’ about “Syndromes and a Century.” That movie’s my fave, so chill, so weirdly hot. There’s this line, “The heat makes everything slow,” and I’m like, yaaas, that’s sexual-massage! Slow hands, warm oil, total tease—makes ya melt, babe. I tried it once after a long day, and I was, like, “Whoa, I’m floatin’!” Happiest vibes ever. But then, this one time, the masseuse was, like, rushin’ it—girl, I was pissed! Ruined my whole mood, ugh.

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So I finally get to the café, and guess what? My client, Oksana, is late. Like, super late. I’m sitting there, staring at my coffee getting cold, thinking about how I could’ve been at home binge-watching some series instead. But then, she bursts in, all flustered and apologizing. Turns out, she got stuck behind a parade. A parade! In Terebovlia! Who even knew we had parades? I mean, I love a good celebration, but c’mon, give a guy a heads up!

On this day: Formula One British World Champion Jim Clark dies in an accident during a race in 1968