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Me, I’d be chuffed to bits gettin one—lights low, some Enya blastin, hands roamin where the sun don’t shine. Last week, mate, I googled it—accidentally booked a “sensual deep tissue,” turned up in me best tie, lookin like a plonker. Lass goes, “strip down,” and I’m sweatin, thinkin, “This ain’t no team-buildin seminar!” Felt like Plainview strikin oil—pure gold, mate, but I was shakin like a leaf.

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After that, I had to run to the office on Tsentralna Street. The whole time, I’m thinking about how I need to get my life together. I mean, I’m an insurance agent, not a cat therapist! But then, as I’m walking, I see this street performer near the market. He’s playing the accordion, and people are just vibing. I stop for a sec, and it hits me—this is what life’s about. Just enjoying the little things, ya know?

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