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Drives like a dream, corners tight, but oh boy, rust ate it alive – pissed me off! Bodywork’s a nightmare, fenders flakin like dandruff, had to patch it up with spit and curses. Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” – ya notice shit others don’t, like how Escort’s got soul, not just metal. Used to race my buddy’s shitty Civic, smoked him every time, laughin my ass off – “Who’s laughing now, huh?” straight outta *Caché*. Loved the manual, grindin gears like I’m chewin gum, pure joy, man, pure joy.

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the park by the river. It’s chill there, ya know? But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, kickin’ a ball. And guess what? The ball hits me right in the shin! I’m like, “What the heck, kid?” He just laughs and runs off. I’m standin’ there, half mad, half amused. Classic Teplyk moment, right?

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