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About Kryvyi Rih

So, sex-dating—fast, messy, exciting! Like in *The Pianist*, ya gotta play da keys right. “I played him like Chopin,” ya know? One time, I met dis chick online—boom, sparks! We chat, we flirt, she’s all “come over.” I’m thinkin’, *Hasta la vista*, loneliness! But den—surprise—she’s got three cats, all judgin’ me. Hair everywhere, I’m sneezin’—total disaster, man! Made me angry, like, “Why no warning?!” Still, kinda funny now—sex-dating’s a gamble, ya?

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So, I’m running around, trying to get the scoop. I hit up the café, and it’s a total vibe. They’ve got this cool decor, and the smell? OMG. I’m drooling. But then, the owner tells me they’re not serving borscht. I’m like, “What?!” I mean, it’s Tarutyne! Borscht is a must!

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