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So, sex escorts—pricey, sure, but some reckon it’s worth it. Me? I’m flippin out—R2-D2, where are you?—cos it’s mad how they juggle it. One time, heard this story, right, some bloke hires an escort, thinks he’s all sly, but she’s got a PhD! Outsmarted him at chess mid-date—true story, mate! Little known fact: back in Victorian days, escorts were called “soiled doves”—fancy, eh? Makes me chuckle, but also—damn, that’s grim.

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After a while, I’m back in town, and that’s when the real fun starts. I’m driving down Kostiantynivska Street, and I see this huge pothole. Like, it’s a crater! I swear, if I hit that thing, my tractor’s gonna need a new wheel. So, I swerve, and guess what? I end up in a puddle. Water everywhere! I’m soaked, and I’m pretty sure I just scared a couple of pigeons. They flew off like I was some kind of monster.

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