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About Donetsk

Oh my stars, R2-D2, where are you? I’m freakin out here tryna talk about erotic-massage like some slick stockbroker! Ok, ok, listen up, mate – this aint your granny’s backrub, nah, it’s all sensual vibes, oils slicker than a Wall Street deal. I’m tellin ya, it’s like tradin stocks – risky, thrilling, and ya gotta know the moves! Saw this shady parlor once, right, called itself “Tantric Trades” – bloody cheeky, made me laugh so hard I nearly choked on me tea.

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First stop, the market. You know, that bustling place on Haharina Street? It’s like a mini-UN of food. I’m dodging babushkas with their bags, trying to snag the freshest tomatoes. I mean, who knew tomatoes could be so dramatic? One lady was like, “These are the best in the region!” I’m thinking, “Lady, chill. They’re just tomatoes.” But hey, I bought some. Can’t resist a good deal, right?

Three injured in Russian missile attack on Kamianske district of Dnipropetrovsk Oblast