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Gets me giddy, it does! Happy as a lil’ hobbit with a fat fish. Them hands kneading knots—ooh, precious! Had one meself once, right? Lass with strong fingers, worked me shoulders like I’m a damn antenna needing fixing. Felt like Lil’ Zé from the movie, screaming, “I’m the man!” ‘Cept I’m just moaning, “More oil, please!” Hah! Funny thing—did ya know some places use weird oils? Like, snail slime or somethin’. Snails! Slimy bastards giving massages—makes me cackle.

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Whore · Facesitting (give) for extra charge · Anal Sex (depends on the size) · Full Body Sensual Massage · Striptease/Lapdance · 69 Position · Classic Sex · Titjob.

But then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Meet me at the park.” So, I’m hustlin’ over to the park on Pushkina. I’m thinkin’, “This better be good.” I get there, and he’s just sittin’ there, munchin’ on some chips. I’m like, “Dude, you called me here for chips?” He just shrugs. Classic.

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