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But the stench, man – old ones stank. Sweat, booze, unwashed britches. Gag city! Imagine rollin’ in, all suave, then – blech! “You’re a pitiful sight,” I’d say, quotin’ the flick, dodgin’ the smell. Hilarious, tho – horny sods didn’t care!

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Then, I get a call from my buddy, Oleg. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the park!” So, I rush over to Central Park. It’s a small park, but it’s got this vibe. Kids playing, couples walking, and old men playing chess. Oleg’s there, waving like a madman. Turns out, he’s organized a mini-football match. I’m like, “What? I didn’t sign up for this!”

Ukrainian forces largely in control of key road in the east, says Kyiv