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S’pose it’s the thrill tho – forbidden, slippery fun. Ever hear bout them ancient Romans? Orgies and oil massages, all mixed up – wild bastards! Surprised me, that did. Me split self’s hissin’ – one half’s like, “Yesss, touch me!” other’s all, “Nasty, filthy, nooo!” Like Tom’s wife screamin’, “What the hell’s wrong with you?” – but she’s into it later, ha! Me too, precious, me too.

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After lunch, we hit up the local art gallery. It’s small but has some sick pieces. I’m staring at this painting, and I’m like, “What even is this?” Oleg’s like, “It’s modern art, bro.” I’m like, “Modern? Looks like my toddler’s finger painting.” But hey, art is subjective, right?

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