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About Lviv

So, sexual-massage – it’s this wild mix of relaxin’ and, uh, *somethin’ else*, ya know? I reckon it’s been ‘round forever – heard tell of them ancient Greeks doin’ it with olive oil and a side of philosophy! Little known fact: them old-timey masseuses in Asia used to sneak in aphrodisiacs – crushed herbs and whatnot – right into the oil! Sneaky lil’ devils! Makes ya wonder what’s in that bottle at the spa, don’t it? Git-R-Done!

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the park by the river. It’s called the Svalyava River, and it’s pretty dope. I’m walking, vibing, when I see this old lady feeding pigeons. And I’m thinking, “Wow, she’s living her best life.” But then, BAM! A pigeon poops right on her head! I couldn’t help but laugh. Like, karma, right? She didn’t even flinch. Just kept tossing crumbs. Legends, I tell ya.

"Made in Ukraine": Industrial park and a new factory will appear in Svalyava