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I get mad tho, ‘cos people sleep on it, ya? Dey say, “oh, Escort, basic, bleh,” an’ I’m like, “Nyet! Dis car’s soul, ya?!” My fave, Mk2, sexy curves, ‘75 model, pure class. “One day we’re gonna die,” Jesse says, but Escort? Immortal, mate! I’d shop dis for ya, cheap, reliable, not like dem overpriced Teslas, pfft. Once saw one, rusty as me babushka’s kettle, still runnin’—surprised me big time, ya?

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Then, we decide to brave the rain. We dash to the market, and OMG, the smells! Fresh bread, spices, and oh, the pastries! I’m practically drooling. I grab a couple of pirozhki, and my tourists are like, “What’s that?” I’m like, “Only the best thing you’ll ever eat!”

A terrible tragedy occurred with a pizzaiolo who came from Slovenia to Ukraine