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Oh, and get this – some perv invented “speed sex-dating”! 5 mins, bang, next! Heard it flopped – too quick, even for hobbits! Made me happy, that did – less filth on my streets. But surprises me, how desperate they get. One app, they sell “sex guarantees” – pay extra, get laid. Disgustin’, but clever, eh? Tricksy capitalists!

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Then, I head over to the park near the river. It’s so pretty there, with the trees and the water. I sit down on a bench, trying to catch my breath. But then, this guy sits next to me and starts talking about his cat. Like, dude, I’m all for cat stories, but I didn’t sign up for a TED Talk. He goes on and on about how his cat, Masha, thinks she’s a dog. I’m just nodding, trying to be polite, but inside I’m like, “I need a break!”

Ukraine has opened one of the longest temporary bridges to the border with Romania – Ministry of Infrastructure