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I tried it once, yah? In dis shady joint, all candles and weird music. Lady says, “Gru, let go of burden,” like in movie, right? “What you carry in your heart?” she whispers. I’m like, “Lady, I carry potatoes and vodka, dat’s it!” She giggles, starts rubbin’ – oh boy, I was mad at first, tought she’s scammin’ me! Ten minutes in, I’m floatin’ like dat monk on his raft. Happy? Yah, like bear wit honey! Surprised? Hell yah, didn’t expect dem tingles down dere!

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The fields are lush, man. Green everywhere. But today? Today was different. I’m minding my own business, counting my sheep, when I hear this loud noise. Like, what the heck? I look up, and there’s this old Lada zooming down the road. I’m like, “Dude, slow down! This ain’t a racetrack!”

Obituary for Marie Pupa