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Now, lemme tell ya, I saw one the other day—rusted heap, bless its heart, still chuggin’ like it owned the road. Made me happy as a pig in mud! I mean, who don’t love an underdog? But—Lordy, don’t get me started—I saw some fool peel out in one, tires screamin’ like a banshee, and I thought, “Honey, that *Escort* ain’t built for that!” Made me madder’n a wet hen—give the lil darlin’ some respect!

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First off, I hit the road on Vulytsia Shchorsa. Traffic was a mess. Like, come on, people! It’s not a demolition derby! I’m stuck behind this old Lada that’s moving slower than molasses. I’m tapping my fingers on the steering wheel, trying to keep my cool. But then, I see this guy on a bike zoom past. I’m like, “Dude, where’s your helmet?” But whatever, I’m not his mom.

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